"Our bodies speak a language of its own."
Ibrahim Farrah
They didn't talk after the show as they walked around Center City, taking in the sights of the downtown area. They didn't talk during the drive back, instead listening to various radio stations for the two and a half hour drive. As JC drove into the parking garage near his apartment building, all he said was, "Come on" before getting out of the car. They stayed silent during their walk from the garage to JC's apartment building.
"Come up?" JC asked uncertainly, not sure if he had read Justin correctly earlier. Justin nodded in response and together, they climbed the four flights to JC's floor, the silence slowly dissipating to a comfortable quiet. When JC unlocked the door, Justin unconsciously placed his hand on JC's lower back and he pulled it back when he realized what he was doing. They had done this for only four months before the fight, but it had become almost second nature to Justin, almost like ballet.
It had been a while since Justin had been in the apartment, but it looked the same as always, neat but slightly cluttered in certain areas. JC walked to his bedroom, knowing Justin was following and once they were both in and the door was closed, JC looked at Justin, straight-faced and blank. "Justin," it was all he could say before Justin interrupted him.
"I'm sorry," he repeated his words from earlier. "I'm just sorry."
"For what? Why?"
"For," he paused. "For taking you by surprise and yelling at you. For not giving you a chance to speak. Because you didn't deserve that. Because when I sat there at the ballet with you next to me, it made me miss you, made me need to hold you again. I wanted you again. I want you again."
Silence took over them again, but this time it was because JC brought Justin's face to his and kissed him deeply, the way he did before the fight, before they had stopped talking. Justin didn't respond, too surprised that JC had kissed him, for a few seconds, before his hands moved to JC's back, holding him firmly but loosely. Justin felt his body reaching for JC's, wanting nothing more than to revisit their relationship.
When JC pulled away, Justin blinked, millions of questions in his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, then thought better of it and instead took Justin's hand and led him to the bed. "Don't apologize," was all he whispered before he pushed Justin down and covered his body with his own. Slip of the tongue, a hand running down Justin's side and flicking open the button of his pants and Justin was panting because he had almost forgotten what being with JC felt like.
"Still beautiful."
The graceful curve of Justin's body as it arched.
"Want you now."
Hands skimming over his body, soft as air, electric like fire.
"Please."
Moans that bounced off the walls.
"Deeper. Just. Deeper."
The press of fingers on slim hips, leaving red marks.
"Don't stop. Don't ever stop."
A bruising kiss.
"God, just, yes, there..."
Interlaced fingers squeezing with each thrust.
JC curled around Justin's body, his arm heavy on Justin's stomach, his fingernails still scratching lightly on Justin's chest. "I'm sorry, too," he said into Justin's neck.
*
The phone kept ringing. JC slept through the sound, but Justin's eyes snapped open.
*beep*
"JC, it's Kelliana. It's late, I know. Call me when you have the time. I want to know how the ballet was."
*beep*
"Joshua, my ex-love, the best roommate in the entiiiiiiiiiiiiiire world. I'm wasted. And at a bar. Somewhere. This probably isn't good for the dancers in us. Who cares? Time to live! Anyway. I think it's around 4. AM. Or near there. I'm not coming back. Just so you know. Kisses!"
*beep*
"Mr. Chasez, this is Jerry again from Dance Spirit Magazine. I just wanted to confirm that shoot for next week. Please give us a call."
*beep*
"JC? JC, I called you like, four and a half hours ago. I'm still drunk, I think Or very, very hungover. Are you around? I don't have my keys. They're in my room."
*beep*
"Joshua, it's Lance. Lance Bass, in case you forgot, but I doubt you would. I just got into my office around 9:00 this morning, it's now 9:30. I just wanted to see if you still wanted to meet for lunch to go over some things. I'm determined to sell this company idea to you, Joshua, so be prepared to be amazed."
*
JC blinked his eyes open and saw the clock glaring an angry 10:03 AM. He groaned and stretched his body out, feeling his muscles give way to the comfort the yawn provided. He turned his head and saw Justin sitting up in his bed, the blankets pooled around his waist and he smiled a sleepy smile. "Hey," he managed to say.
"Hey."
JC sat up in bed and picked at the thread on the blanket. He plucked at it, wondering how long it would take before it unraveled. After minutes of quiet, he spoke, "It wasn't that you weren't good enough for my ballet." He looked up and saw Justin listening. "You could have been amazing in my show, but it wasn't for you. It wouldn't let you shine. And Kevin wanted you."
"So you've said," but it wasn't mean or angry.
JC tried to think of what to say, how to gather his thoughts to say what he wanted to. "You wouldn't have gotten into the company in my ballet."
"Excuse me?"
"That came out wrong."
"JC," and Justin picked up his hand, stopping him from trying to ruin his blanket. "JC, I'm a dancer and I'll dance whatever is thrown at me in the best way possible. You of all people should be able to understand that. The ballet didn't matter." He paused. "I don't even care that I wasn't chosen for your ballet. It was what was said about it that pissed me off."
"I'm sorry. She didn't say the whole story."
"I know that now." He picked at his fingernails for a moment. "Who's Lance Bass?"
JC's head shot up. "Lance Bass?"
"Uh-huh," Justin responded. "He left a message on your machine this morning." He picked some more. "He was talking about selling you the idea of a company?"
JC closed his eyes and laid back down with a flop. "Fuck." He opened his eyes and saw Justin looking at him with questioning eyes. "Someone is, Lance is, it's like this. I mean, it's not definite, but it's not nothing and Lance is offering to make me a company."
"A company?" Justin raised his eyebrows.
"A ballet company," he said quietly. "My own company."
"You're leaving ABT?" Justin cried and something in his voice made JC's eyes rage.
"It's still uncertain." His face changed to a cool mask. "But what does it matter? As I recall you saying, you're leaving ABT too."
*
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